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Focus on Boundaries

For me, this August has all been about The Hundred cricket competition. It has been so captivating and has brought our family together every day. I even managed to get tickets last minute to go to Edgbaston to watch Birmingham Phoenix play Welsh Fire. It has been over 30 years since I last went to Edgbaston and my Mum and I had a fabulous time reminiscing over all the matches we have witnessed being played at that particular ground.

Since the age of eight, I have enjoyed sitting outside the cricket boundary. My dad, husband, son and daughter all play and we love the game of cricket. We would have to given the amount of time we have all spent invested in the sport one way or another. However, what I have learned over the years is the importance of the boundary. The game only works with a clear boundary set for the batting and bowling sides to both know when fours and sixes have been scored.

Understanding your boundaries and knowing how to react when they have been crossed is an important life skill too however first you have to know what your boundaries are in the first place. Often people don’t realise a boundary has been crossed until they become unexpectedly angry over something. Anger is a great indicator that someone has crossed a boundary you have set unconsciously.

If you are a people pleaser who regularly says yes to everything and everyone to the detriment of your own time and energy then you know what I am talking about here. I know that over the years I have been guilty of acting this way, saying yes to everything worried that I might be seen as unhelpful, unsupportive or selfish if I said no.

However over the last year, I have been consciously working on defining my boundaries and ensuring that they are really clear, not only to me but to those around me so that I can reclaim my time and energy back.

Setting boundaries and maintaining them gives you total autonomy over your life. I have set clear purposeful intentions in life and I will likely say no to many things along my journey going forward. In fact, that’s the only way I will get to live a purposeful and fulfilling life aligned to my values.

I no longer feel guilty or that I am letting people down when saying no to them. With confidence I am able to confidently state my boundaries of what I am willing to do or not. As I get older, I recognise more and more the importance of my time, or rather the ever-growing lack of it, and I am no longer willing to spend it doing the things that do not serve me or my purpose. I don’t need to make excuses or give any reasons either and that feels so liberating. I have figured out my boundaries. Have you?

Focus on Boundaries!

ACTION POINT - Are you clear on your boundaries? Set yourself free by defining them!


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