Focus on Realisations

When I arrived at Stratford Manor in October 2019 as a round table mentor at the One of many™ BeWealth retreat, I had no idea how profoundly my life was about to change. Invited by my friend Catherine Morgan to share insights on property investment, I was unaware that my transformation had already quietly begun.

Three years later, post-pandemic, I was invited back; this time to speak about purpose at BeFulfilled in October 2022. Ahead of it, I attended the One Woman Conference (OWC) in May 2022. I walked into the room confident, mingling in the Premier Lounge, thinking I had life figured out.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

By lunchtime on day one, I realised I’d been operating in full-blown Superwoman mode for over 40 years. The truth hit me hard, viscerally, on a cellular level.

That realisation led me to join the One of many™ community and enrol in the leadership program: Lead the Change (LTC) which marked a turning point. Superwoman urged me to sign up for the Coaching Certification too, but, for the first time, I said no. I chose to honour one journey at a time.

At OWC in May 2023, having completed my Lead the Change journey, founder Dr Joanna Martin asked me how I’d changed. I struggled to answer. I was still processing internal shifts but later that year, while working towards my Coaching Certification, it clicked. A key breakthrough came on 10 September 2023, when I let go of a limiting belief I’d unearthed eight months earlier at the BeVital retreat; that I needed alcohol to be or have fun. I stopped drinking alcohol and haven’t looked back since.

Then came another life-altering realisation in December 2023: an ADHD diagnosis at 49. Suddenly, decades of exhaustion, perfectionism and inner chaos all made sense. Alcohol had been self-medication. With professional support, sobriety and medication, the fog lifted. My relationships deepened. I began focusing on what mattered most.

This renewed confidence and clarity gave me the courage to revisit a lifelong dream: writing a book. For years, imposter syndrome had held me back but in April 2024, I became a certified One of many Women’s Coach. By OWC, May 2024, I was 247 days alcohol-free and thriving. That clarity radiated outward. I danced, ran weekly parkruns, ate mindfully and was three stone lighter. People noticed a glow. It was real. I finally could answer Jo’s question from the year before and in October 2024, just a month before I turned 50, my first book was published. Focus on Why: Create a purposeful way of life has just been shortlisted for The Business Book Awards 2025.

At OWC May 2025, literally last weekend, I didn’t expect another major shift. But then I heard ADHD coach AJ McKay speak and everything clicked again. I realised why it had been so hard for me to retire Superwoman. I needed her to survive. She was my protector. My armour. Back in 2022, when I first tried to retire her, I didn’t know I had ADHD. I had to work twice as hard just to feel ‘enough’. For decades, Superwoman’s protective armour had helped me 'fit in', but as Brené Brown says, ‘Fitting in is the opposite of belonging’. AJ’s words brought tears and deep relief as I felt truly seen.

This past week, I’ve been processing this latest realisation and also watched an episode of Inside Our ADHD Minds. More resonance. More clarity. I’ve often wondered how different life might’ve been with an earlier diagnosis but regret is futile. What matters is moving forward with compassion and forgiveness.

Today, I embrace the woman I am. Fully understood, deeply accepted and lovingly celebrated, with all my neurospicy magic and the adventures that await. I’ve retired Superwoman’s armour. I’ve built strong boundaries, especially with those who don’t meet me where I am. I no longer carry shame or seek approval. I’m not trying to prove anything.

I am proof. I am enough. I belong.

So, if you are just starting your neurodivergent journey: trust that you’ll know what comes next. If Superwoman is your only survival tool: know there’s another way.

Make this life your own, live it fully and don’t forget to dance. Forgive, focus and move forward. Focus on Realisations. Focus on Why!

ACTION POINT: What realisation is waiting for you, just beneath the surface, and are you willing to listen?