Focus on Letting Go

Letting go can feel like an impossible ask. You’ve been taught, both subtly and openly, that certain hurts are better held onto or tucked neatly out of sight. You might not realise that releasing them could be the key to easing a lifetime of shame, resentment or grief. Listening to Dr Jane Lewis in Focus on WHY podcast episode 490 Forgiveness Heals Toxicity, you hear from someone who hasn’t only explored release as an idea, but lives its raw and human truth.

Letting go doesn’t require you to excuse what happened or pretend the pain never existed. Jane’s journey began in darkness—clinical depression brought on by years of unresolved hurt. Through Huna, the ancient Hawaiian spiritual practice she now teaches, release became her soul medicine. In this tradition, forgiveness (ho‘oponopono) is not a single act but a spectrum: sometimes a conversation, sometimes an inner reckoning. And crucially, it’s always two-way—'I forgive you, please forgive me’— because you often cause harm without ever realising.

The process is far from tidy. It challenges you, confronts you and occasionally overwhelms you. Even with decades of experience, Jane shares how letting go in the face of her mother’s dementia stretched her to her limits. Release isn’t about condoning behaviour or staying connected to people who harm you. It’s about freeing yourself—from toxic workplaces, unhealthy dynamics and, most of all, the shame you turn inward.

The transformative power of letting go rarely looks dramatic. It happens in quiet, unglamorous moments. The small inner whisper: ‘I forgive you—please forgive me’, even if you never say those words aloud. It’s the recognition that you don’t have to stay bound to old wounds, that you can choose a life grounded in peace rather than pain.

Listening to Jane, you’re reminded that letting go isn’t only a spiritual principle. It’s a practical everyday tool. It might even be the missing piece you’ve been unconsciously searching for; a way to loosen the grip of toxicity and create a freer way of living. To move forward, to truly heal, you need to release not only others but yourself: for what you did, what you allowed or simply what you endured.

Sometimes, the moment you begin to let go is the moment you create space for purpose, connection and joy. If you’re still carrying the weight of old wounds, perhaps now is the time to loosen your hold and open up to the possibility of something lighter.

Focus on Letting Go. Focus on Why.

REFLECTION WITH ACTION: What might become possible for you if you chose to let go, right now?