Focus on Advice

On Wednesday this week, I attended Henley Royal Regatta to join Holly, my daughter, and her friends watch Arthur, her boyfriend compete. Unfortunately, Arthur didn’t make it through to the next round but just qualifying for the event is an enormous achievement. The level of effort and preparation involved deserves nothing but recognition and praise.

Next week brings two big milestones: I’m moving house for the first time in 18 and a half years and I’m returning to my old secondary school after 32 years. I’ve been invited back to hand out the end-of-year awards for effort and also to speak to Years 7–10 about something deeply personal: what advice I would give my younger self. The current headteacher had read my book and asked me to share my story and reflections.

I've written my talk and will share more about it next week but I thought I’d share some of the other messages that almost made it into my speech. If I could give my younger self advice, here’s what I’d say:

Stop chasing perfection. It’s an illusion. The best parts of life are messy, unpredictable and often unplanned. Don’t be afraid to get things wrong as mistakes are just part of the learning and instead, embrace your imperfections.

Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s easy to look sideways and feel behind. Don’t. Everyone has their own timing. Focus on your own path, there’s no one right way to grow.

Speak kindly to yourself. You’ll spend a lifetime with your own mind so make it a compassionate place to be. Quiet the inner critic and become your own biggest cheerleader.

Take more risks. Say yes to things that scare you. You’ll grow most when you stretch beyond what’s comfortable.

Value and nurture relationships. People matter more than anything. Cherish and appreciate your friends and family and allow yourself to outgrow what no longer fits.

You are enough. Right now. As you are. Don’t wait to be better to believe that. Start from a place of worthiness.

How about you? What advice would you share with your younger self?

Life has a funny way of circling back and while life rarely goes to plan, every step, particularly the harder ones, teaches you something worth passing on. Next week, as I walk through the gates of my old school, not as a student, but with the chance to share what I’ve learned, it serves as a reminder that while I can’t rewrite my past, I can help shape someone else’s future.

Focus on Advice. Focus on Why!

REFLECTION WITH ACTION: Take a moment this week to write down one piece of advice you’d give your younger self. What do you know now that you wish you’d understood at 15?