Focus on Reconnection

How often do you say, "I’m fine" without really stopping to consider whether you are? It’s such an automatic response. Someone asks how you are, you smile and say, “I’m fine,” and the conversation moves on. But what if, beneath those two words, there’s exhaustion, stress or a nagging sense that something isn’t quite right?

In episode 535 of Focus on WHY, I speak with Dr Laura Shallcross about something we can all lose touch with: our fundamental needs.

Today's world is full of messages about wellbeing, self-care and productivity, yet it’s surprisingly easy to ignore the simplest signals your body gives you. You’re hungry but you carry on working. You’re thirsty but you answer another email first. You’re tired but you convince yourself you can push through. Your to-do list takes priority over the person doing the doing.

Laura describes how her own relentless pursuit of success, perfection and approval eventually meant ignoring the warning signs her body was giving her. Eczema, headaches and ultimately burnout forced her to pay attention to what she had been trying to override.

Perhaps that’s the uncomfortable truth. You can only disconnect from yourself for so long before something demands your attention.

We’re conditioned to celebrate being busy, productive and resilient. Rest can feel like something you have to earn and your value can become tangled up with what you achieve. So instead of asking, “What do I need?”, you keep asking, “What else do I need to get done?”

Reconnection starts with awareness. It starts with pausing long enough to notice what’s happening and asking yourself a different question: What do I need right now?

The answer might be rest. It might be food, water, fresh air, connection or simply permission to stop. Whatever it is, listening to it is not self-indulgence. It’s self-care in its most basic form. 

Focus on Reconnection. Focus on Why.

You don't have to prove you're fine. You can simply pay attention to what you need. 

REFLECTION WITH ACTION 

When did you last check in with yourself before automatically telling someone, “I’m fine”? The next time you’re about to say “I’m fine”, pause. Ask yourself what you actually need in that moment. Then, where you can, give yourself permission to meet that need.