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Focus on Control

Yesterday morning I woke up at 3am with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was the day of my son’s International Baccalaureate results. My anxiety and nerves were running high with anticipation and my subconscious mind disturbed me from my sleep to wake me with these worrying thoughts.

However, I quickly realised that I could not do anything to change the outcome or to predict the future. I would just have to wait it out and expend my energy in a way that was not so futile. I focused on what I could control instead, my response to this moment.

As you experience a moment in life, you assign a meaning to it based upon your values, beliefs, perceptions, interpretations and experiences consciously or unconsciously. This subjective meaning then leads to how you respond to that moment through your mood, your behaviour, the choices you make and the subsequent actions you then take. These then go on to create the next moment and so the sequence continues on and on and on.

So what can you control? The present moment with your thoughts, your actions, your attitude, your responses, your behaviour and your lifestyle choices. Every moment you make decisions on whether you prioritise your health and wellbeing or not.

What don’t you have control over? The past, the future, the weather, other people’s choices, decisions, opinions and judgements.

When you focus on what you can control, you are more able to make informed decisions and you are better equipped to adapt to change and ultimately live a more fulfilled life. To gain control, you need to take ownership of your choices, actions and beliefs. Regardless of your external circumstances, you can choose how you perceive and respond to moments.

Do you feel you are in control? Are you consciously aware of what aspects of your life you have control over and where you feel a lack of control? How can you reclaim that control?

Awareness of the process can empower you to become more mindful of your response to moments and the meanings you attach to them. This will help you to focus on being in control of what you can be thus freeing yourself from unnecessary stress and anxiety.

If you are curious to know, my son got the results he needed to head off to his first choice university so all's well and I slept very well last night!

Focus on Control!

ACTION POINT - What beliefs or habits do you need to let go of to gain more control over your life?


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