Naomi Stonier, from episode 353 Commit to Giving, said that we all have a life blueprint and that it determines the quality of your life. Naomi's personal journey teaches you that you have the power to change your blueprint and create the experiences you desire. She focused on her needs and recognised that she was chasing a particular feeling; the feeling to be loved. As soon as she understood that she was able to give herself that feeling, she was able to let go of the blueprint of needing a big family and simply be a great mum of one.
Do you understand your needs? Not to be confused with what you want or desire, your needs are those elements that come together for you to live a satisfactory life, nothing more. For you to be safe, stable and healthy before anything else can be considered. It is what is required and if you look at the old English etymological makeup of the word, it means of necessity, compulsion, requirement for. You can live without your wants but life becomes really very hard without your basic needs being met.
So how do you work out the difference between your needs and your wants? Actually, it is fairly easy to do so. It’s about what you have to have to get to being in a satisfactory state, not in a desirable one. Literally just a flat ok. Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a good place to start with identifying your needs.
Starting with your physiological needs of how much water, sleep, food, fresh air and movement you need, list out everything you can think of that contribute towards your needs and check whether or not your needs are being met on a daily basis.
Look at the other needs from Maslow's Hierarchy too. The psychological and safety needs, love and belonging, esteem and self-actualisation as there’s likely to be more elements that you need such as love, connection, friendship or health. It could be that you have been neglecting what you really need at your core.
For me to be just ok every day, I need to have 7 hours of sleep, at least 2 litres of water but no later than 9pm. I need to have three small yet regular healthy meals per day with plenty of fruit in between. I need to be outside in nature for at least 30 minutes, preferably in amongst trees and also do an additional minimum of 40 minutes of cardio exercise every day. I need to have some alone time and also time with friends each day.
So have a go. There is no right or wrong way to put together your list here, only a list that which brings you to a position of feeling and being ok. That’s it.
What I do know for sure is that without your needs being met, you won’t be able to help others and you certainly won’t be able to build the life of purpose you desire if you are struggling to meet your basic needs.
ACTION POINT - Are your basic needs being met? Find out right now!
So go on, focus on needs!
Amy