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Focus on Dialogue

Always seeking to expand my knowledge today’s focus is on dialogue. Not the external dialogue you have with other people but the internal dialogue that goes on inside your head.


Knowing that your positive self-talk can become a powerful tool to becoming more confident, driven, focused, productive, motivated and ultimately more purposeful in your actions, I was eager to understand how you can master this internal dialogue.


Keen also to learn more about the purpose of the Inner Critic and how it performs its protective role to keep you safe I watched an online webinar on Taming Your Inner Critic by the One of many co-founder Annie Stoker. This was when I was properly introduced to a phrase I had heard used many times before but had misunderstood its true meaning: Voice Dialogue.


I subsequently went on to complete Annie’s online quiz to understand the roles my different Selves play, their specific triggers and their respective dominance in influencing me and my decisions. To dive deeper into this field, I have also just started reading Embracing Our Selves by Hal Stone, PH.D and Sidra L. Stone, PH.D.* which came highly recommended by Annie.


From Annie’s quiz, I received a list of the six inner voices which for me speak the loudest and have the strongest influence on me. I now realise that my Inner Critic is just one of these voices in my head and with all the other sub-personalities, there are many voices regularly competing to influence me and my actions. The Inner Critic sits amongst the company of the Pusher, Responsible Self, Perfectionist, Pleaser and the Protector Controller.


This was when I made a real lightbulb connection to how my mind works. I may be late to the party but as I always say it is never too late to... so I am delighted to now be able to label this occurrence. Hello, Voice Dialogue!


You know that thought process you have when, in relation to a decision you need to make or when you are facing a dilemma, you think part of me thinks or feels this… another part of me thinks or feels that… and another part of me thinks or feels this… well, these are just three of your Inner Selves carrying out Voice Dialogue.


Like me, you have probably been aware of the different parts of what makes you who you are for years but have you ever put a name to the process? Well, now you can and not only can you put a name to it, you can also understand the purpose behind what is going on.


The different Selves are simply trying to keep you safe. They believe they are protecting you but in reality, as the Inner Critic often does, by pointing out all your faults and mistakes they can often cause great suffering in the process. So it is key to identify that each of these voices are not necessarily always speaking the truth.


Also, understanding that you can separate out these voices by identifying these Selves, giving them their names, appreciating what their specific roles are in keeping you safe and knowing that you have the choice to stop being run by what they have to say, gives you back your power.


It is not often that I express regret in life however learning more about the role of the Inner Critic and how it polices the rules your many sub-personalities have set is certainly an area of knowledge that I believe would have made a huge difference to me if I had understood exactly what has been happening to me earlier in my life.


It would undoubtedly have saved me so much time, energy and money not to mention reducing the amount of confusion, indecision, burnout, stress, frustration or anxiety experienced in the pursuit of control, perfection or people-pleasing trying to live up to the impossible rules set by these sub-personalities. Anyway, regret is futile so what to do now?


It's still early days. I recognise I have only just scraped the surface on this topic. I am curious though as to where it will lead me next. For now though, I will finish reading the book and see what comes from processing that information through my Reflection with Action practice.


Life how I knew it to be is not life as I now know it to be! It has vastly shifted. What I have discovered this week so far about how to tame the Inner Critic and its role within Voice Dialogue has been nothing short of revelatory.


Focus on Dialogue! Focus on WHY!


Have a great weekend.



ACTION POINT - Which inner voices are speaking the loudest for you and why?


Embracing Our Selves by Hal Stone PhD and Sidra L. Stone PhD -

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

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